Letters to Chaos
by bloomabilityx
Summary: The OCD/Briarwood pen pal system was bound to be trouble. Based on "Finding Cassie Crazy" also known as Year of Secert Assignments by Jaclyn Moriarty. Major AU.
1. Letters To Briarwood

**A/N: This story's premise is based on the book Finding Cassie Crazy. I take no credit for that. **

**The pairings may become evident next chapter, but nothing is ever what it seems you know. Sorry about this chapter's shortness, it'll get longer as the story goes on.**

--

Dear Briarwood freak,

Maybe its not fair for me to be calling you a freak, seeing as we don't know each other. But, Briarwood is supposedly full of freaks. You go there, therefore you're a freak. Ooh, logic.

This is the stupidest assignment in the history of stupid assignments. This is worse than 5 hours of math homework. Why are we doing this? Oh, I'll tell ya, because you Briarwood boys hate us OCD girls. You think we're stuck up, we think you're pigs.

But, seeing as I'm not judging, maybe you're just a piglet.

Anyway, Mr. Green is reading over my shoulder, the jerk, and is now telling me to actually write about myself. Not much to say. I'm Dylan...and YES I'm a girl. I have the best friends any one could ask for. Be jealous.

I have nothing truly else to say. So, I'm finishing this letter.

-Dylan M.

--

Dear Briarwood boy,

My name is Massie Block. Maybe you've heard of me? I have that effect on people, I've heard. I'm supposed to be writing to you in hopes of a "useful interschool relationship", so we've both got to suck it up.

The most important person to me is my dog Bean. My housemaid Inex would be number 2, my parents a close 3. Yep, that's not the healthiest kid/parent relationship.

My friends are Dylan Marvil and Kristen Gregory. We've known each other for ages and we all just -clique- together. Because you know, we're a clique. Like, ha ha, funny pun? Not laughing? Oh well.

Sincerely,

Massie A. Block

--

Dear Briarwood person,

I'm sorry if my handwriting sucks here, I'm bouncing a soccer ball as I write this. Soccer is my life. I've played it for 5 years and I couldn't be happier. I'm captain of the girls team, and not to brag, but we've won every single game since I became captain. Undefeated!

I also quite like to read and write, I'm trying to write poems for school contests. My friends are also my loves of this world. Massie and Dylan, most amazing people I've ever met. Massie's the pistol, I'm the poet, and Dyl's the pizazz.

While I'm writing this, I realized I never introduced myself. Damn writing in pen! I'm Kristen Gregory, and its Kristen. Not Kris, Krissy, Ris, or any other lame name like that. Write back soon, I've always wanted a pen pal.

Cheers,

Kristen


	2. Letters To OCD

**A/N: This chapter is also quite short, but its really just a set-up and so you can see who the girls got partnered with. And to clear some things up:**

**- Finding Cassie Crazy is the international title of Year of Secret Assignments. So yeah, don't freak out! XD**

**- Claire and Alicia are in this, but not as you'd think.**

**- After this chapter, the next 3 chapters will be letters ongoing from the odd squads (i.e. the penpals)  
**

--

Dear Dylan Who Is A Girl,

Pity you aren't a boy. Then I could beat you up without any shame or guilt for all the crap you put in your last letter.

You have no clue who we Briarwood boys are, so shut your face. I'll let you know I've never judged any of you OCD girls. But if I had to right now, I'd say all of you should be locked up until you're mentally and emotionally capable to handle the real world. Which is never.

Not to be rude, but how can you be like that when you're still calling me 'Briarwood boy'. And NO we are not pigs. Don't be jealous that your school is scum.

And also, you talk like those lame girls who act like they're a freaking movie star, when in actuality, they will end up being a crazy cat woman.

So enjoy your cats, Dylan M.

-Cam

--

Dear Massie,

All obviousness aside, you came off a little prissy in your letter. But yeah, I've heard of you. Typical popular girl, right?

I'm Josh. Stealing your idea for a moment: The most important thing in my life happens to be a family, but the Yankees just barely take spot number 2. It was a close race, I tell you.

Anyway, seeing as that's the major facts about me, I'll tell you a good story about something that happened to me today. Just because you seem like you have to be constantly entertained.

Ms. Hoover's 10th grade english class is the worst class offered at Briarwood. But, being the 10th grader I am, it was required. My good buddy Derrick had the idea of "wow, why don't we just ditch?" and me being a sucker, decided that this was a logical solution, because I'd take seeing a matinee with old ladies than read books on widowed farmers.

But, we were dead wrong.

It just so happened that the old lady matinee was housing our very own Dean Don and his grandma. We were screwed.

And the rest after that is painful, to tell the truth. But we got 2 weeks detention for skipping a class and intruding on his nanny time.

Cheers,

Josh.

--  
Hey Kristen,

I guess I lucked out having you as a pen pal, I'm captain of our soccer team too. Wonder why we've never met...?

Sorry, this letter's really short. My friend Josh and I are serving detention, and I'm writing this as I sort out various flyers for school. So don't think I'm just blowing you off, my friend.

-Derrick


	3. Letters to Dylan and Cam

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! This was fun to write, I love Dylan/Cam snark.  
**

**Disclaimer: Its disclaimed!**

--

Dear Cam,

The only thing keeping me from NOT thinking you're a girl is the fact you go to Briarwood. But, if you've ever seen the movie "Just One of The Guys", you'll understand why I think the idea of a girl going to Briarwood is completely plausible. Major points for you if you've seen it.

Ugh, Mr. Green will not stop reading over my shoulder. Now he's telling me "Great idea! Talk about movies you like!", in a slightly girlish tone.

Oh, and he is telling me to stop writing what he's actually saying to me and stop writing he sounds like a girl. WELL THAT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU SOUND WOMANLY!

But, my grade seems to be writing on these letters. So I'll find some way to tell you I like 80s teen movies. OH WAIT I JUST DID!

Back on the subject of your letter. I'm quite aware I sound like a brat, but you know, maybe its just a tough front I put up so nobody will see the real vulnerable me. The me whose mom is always gone. The me who just wants to be loved for real.

Oh give me a break, you don't know crap about me. I'm not some crybaby in a lame teen soap opera, sorry if you're disappointed.

-Dylan

--

Dylan--

Question: Why are you so mean?

--Cam

--

Dear Cam(-ille),

Question: Why don't you shove that up your butt?

-Dylan

--

Dylan--

You know, MY grade happens to be riding on this letter thing too. English is my best subject, but OF COURSE I have to be paired with the person who doesn't care at all. So, I don't care what ever smart aleck comebacks you have. I'm gonna write, you're gonna listen.

Guess where I am? What's that you say? At my house? WELL WRONG! I'm in detention with the two most stupid people I've ever met, Derrick and Josh, my good friends. First they sneak off to the movies and get caught by our Dean Don. And NOW they roped me into some spying scheme.

Derrick's penpal is captain of the girl's soccer team and he wanted to see them play. Anyone with half a mind would just watch a practice. BUT NO. He wanted us to go out in full disguise and watch from under a bleacher. This surprisingly goes well until the goalie finally looks at us. She ran over to the captain (who was PISSED) and they all disappeared.

"What's going on?" Derrick asked, practically glued to his binoculars.

"Dunno, where did they all--" Josh was interrupted by a hose to the face. About 6 of the girls were holding a hose and spraying us all down. By the time they stopped, and we were choking and coughing, the captain (I think) told us "go to hell, you spies".

Needless to say, we were very confused. I'd love to (not) hear from you about this.

--Cam

--

Dear Cam,

The captain of the girl's team happens to be my best friend Kristen...and yes she was pissed. She's actually mad at me for responding, she thinks you guys are spies sent from our rival girl's school, Glenwoode, to watch the soccer practices. That hose was just a taste of her potential wrath, you know.

But I find it hard to believe YOU of all people have detention. You seem like such a goody-goody. Prove me wrong Camille.

Actually...here's HOW you can prove me wrong. I DARE you to somehow get the Pokemon theme song to play on our school loudspeaker during morning announcements. Without getting caught, of course. So, what do you say?

-Dylan

--

Dylan--

Pokemon theme song? What are you, 7? But I can never turn down a dare. You're on. When I do that, you have to do a dare of my own. And it will not be pretty.

Think you can handle that?

--Cam

--

Cam,

A dare's a dare. I want to hear that song by Wednesday morning. Don't sissy out, because I guarantee I'll be making fun of you until the day we're done with these letters.

Game on!

-Dylan


	4. Letters to Kristen and Derrick

**A/N: Sorry for the delay update! Thanks for all the reviews, they're my push to keep writing. And after the Massie/Josh chapter, the letters definitely will be longer, I'm just setting the plot up XD **

_Disclaimer: Its disclaimed!_

--

Dear Derrick,

Its alright, sometimes short letters are the best letters. Too bad, because my friends tell me I a ramble too much for my own good. I don't think I do, but some things are said better in 50 words than 5. Oh wow, I AM rambling. Next time, just stop reading the letter.

I'm not in the best mood. Our first game against Glenwoode Prep (our enemies) is in a couple weeks and this year's team is NOT as good as before. Hanna Ramirez (best. goalie. ever!) moved to Lousiana, so we've got sucky Strawberry McAdams with us. I'l be dead meat if Selena Harold (captain over there) beats us even just once this season. I'll never live it down.

Sorry I have to cut this short, I'm watching the Manchester United game. Can't miss it!

Write back,

Kristen

--

Dear Derrick,

You haven't written for a while. Something wrong? Did I ramble too much about rambling?

Peace,

Kristen.

--

Dear Derrick The Asshole,

Hmm, you know when you told me you were captain for the boy's soccer team, I fully expected you to at least uphold some sense of decency and morals. But no, you're just a stupid spy. What's even stupider is that you would spy on our soccer team for our rivals. You're just scum. Scum of the earth.

You're the player who keeps using their hands for the ball or scoring for the other team, you know. Hope you caught pnemonia from the hose, you loser.

How did I know you were the spy? Good question, mein dumbass, Strawberry McAdams came through for once. She took a picture of you and your soaked friends. Another girl on our team took one look at the photo and threw up due to the massive ugliness. No, that didn't happen. I wish it did.

But she did point out one of you was Josh Hotz. My best friend Massie is his penpal. I bet you're saying, OH CONFLICT. Another chick on the soccer team also stated that Josh Hotz is currently dating...guess who...SELENA HAROLD YOU TWIT. I can't believe it. Way to lose the trust of someone who barely knows you, arsehole. I bet she knows all of our plays by now, don't she?

Lesson learned: I'm always one step ahead. Know that.

Don't bother writing back,

Kristen

--

Dear Kristen,

You've got it all WRONG WRONG WRONG. Let's begin with the first wrongness. I wasn't writing back because I had to help my stupid friend with a prank. Can't say too much about it, except he needs to let go of his Pokemon obsession.

Next, why would I spy on a second rate team? Oh excuse me, a second rate GIRLS team. There is nothing precious about your sacred plays, except for the fact that a brain dead chimp could think that up. You talk way too much shit for your amount of skill. You're so supposed to be the best player? I bet they made you captain because Ramirez left. And even if Josh is with Selena, he wouldn't do spy just for soccer.

I thought you were cool, but first impressions are kinda fake, aren't they? So shove it up your ass.

-Derrick

PS: You ramble like an old grandma.

--

Derrick,

Typically when someone says don't bother writing back. They mean DONT WRITE BACK. There's stupidity for ya.

Sincerely,

Kristen


End file.
